Hey Siestas,
Where has the week gone? Sorry I'm late posting this weeks discussion questions. I'm looking forward to hearing all of your thoughts. This has been a fun - and at times, gut wrenching - journey with you!
From Beth: "Ok, we’re about to get to a part of the book that I found highly interesting in research. The next several chapters involve the insights from the men’s survey and I bet a few of their comments will pop your eyes open, too. In the mix of what we have ahead, we’re going to be focusing on men-related insecurities then soon after that (in coming chapters) we’ll focus specifically on women-related insecurities. Each of us has a tendency to be less secure around one gender than the other and, according to the survey of over 900 of you, we’re almost evenly divided between the two. I pray we’re going to gain insight into some gender-related insecurities and stumble upon some much needed freedom. I really want you to read the portions about the men even if you don’t have a mate or a specific man in your life. If we have resistant, resentful hearts toward men, we can’t just avoid them altogether. They comprise the other half of our population so it really is imperative in our pursuit of wholeness that we get a grip.
Your assignment for this week is to read CHAPTERS 10 AND 11 and answer the following question:
1. Based on Chapter 10, in all truthfulness, has your historical tendency been to view men (generally speaking) as gods? Or devils?
2. Based on Chapter 10 and your own day-to-day observances, what differences do you see between men’s insecurities and women’s?
3. On p.208 in Chapter 11, I suggest that women who struggle with insecurity tend to be particularly taken with 2 divine attributes: omnipotence and omniscience. Did either of these resonate with you? If so, how?
We are liable to have some LIVELY conversation this week! I can’t wait to see it happen! Just one little thing I want to throw out there: some of you may have some pretty big hang-ups with men because you have a background of abuse like I do. If it plays heavily into one of your answers, by all means, share what pertains but I’ve learned along the way that it’s best to stop short of graphic descriptions. Most people have a hard time knowing what to do with those kinds of mental images. I’ve told every graphic detail in counseling situations but, publically, I try to stay general. It’s just too much for most listeners and readers. They have compassion but they just don’t have the answers. We know Who does.
Go for it, Girls! I’m so honored to take this journey with you."
Durant, Ok
ReplyDelete40's
Married
1.
hmmm, I guess if I have to choose one, I would say "gods". I don't like to think that I would ever view them as either, but it's probably actually a little of both.
2.
I think men's insecurities are usually based on how they are providing for their family. which would be how they are doing as a husband and dad.
I think women's insecurities are usually based on how insecure we feel in our looks and also on how we feel we are doing as wife and mom.
I re-read the chapter, and realized that men have insecurities about their looks, too, of course I did know that!
Both genders can have insecurities related to jobs, and both genders can also feel insecure if we do not feel loved and appreciated. Actually, after re-reading the chapter, it seems that both genders have insecurities about most of the same things. Maybe, for some reason, we let ours cripple us more. (?)
3.
I have never thought I was a controling mom or wife, but sometimes I want to know everything that is going on in their lives and sometimes I wish I could fix things for them or keep them from getting hurt.
Please pray for me as I begin leading this study next Wednesday night.
Sandy I will pray. I bet it will go great! I'll be posting my answers later, still have to read the chapters!
ReplyDeleteI know the provider thing has been a big one for my husband lately. He feels like such a failure and can't believe "he's" put us through this. I keep telling him, he hasn't put us through anything and there's nowhere I'd rather be than by his side. He's my best friend.
Sandi, how long has your husband been unemployed? I will pray for you all and that situation. I know God has a great plan, and I know you know that, but it can still be very difficult. My husband was unemployed for 6 months in 2007.
ReplyDeleteI just asked my husband yesterday what he thinks about when he thinks about men's insecurities, and he said,
"The first 2 things that come to my mind are looks and. . .
(that other area or "performance" that if we think about it, we do realize that would be an area for men's insecurities).
Thank you for your prayers!
I have to make time to prepare for Wed. night!
Right now, I am making last minute efforts to prepare to go back to teaching tomorrow, and we are going to church tonight. We are beginning
40 Days of Love!
Sandy, We are doing a 40 Days Leap of Faith right now with our church, it's been so fun. We're using it as a time to ask God for our dreams and direction. Under the premise that God wants to bless his children and loves us. Basically we've been asking for a job, our own place to live (we're living with my husband's sister and her husband right now) and some life direction. My husband is even doing a juice fast most of that time.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long road. He's been out of FT work for over a year. ugh. He teaches pt. He's trying to rekindle his computer career but has been out of that field while working on his graduate degree. We're still waiting to hear on the interview he had 1 1/2 weeks ago(yes we're counting!) It's so stressful. I don't know if it will be that job or not but do know that God provides, often in ways we don't expect or necessarily want but it's still provision. I know He has a plan I just don't know WHEN we'll see it! Thanks for any prayers!
I posted my answers on the LPM blog earlier this afternoon, saw that my comment had been approved, but just now when I went to look for it, it's not there! Even when I click "control F" Weird.
ReplyDeleteAnyway....
1. I would have to say that I've always viewed men as "gods". Ever since I was in my early teens, I can remember that I thought all men could do no wrong, and held them on a pedestal. I imagine it was because I craved attention.
2. I think that most men experience insecurities in the area of performance and achievement. Women tend to be more insecure about appearance, and their perception of how others view them.
3. Oops, I guess I didn't read the whole question and only read to the end of Ch 10. I'll have to read Ch 11 tonight to catch up! And here I thought I was being very careful to not get too far ahead!!
1. I tend to view men as gods. I think it stemmed from my deep love and relationship with my Dad as a little girl.
ReplyDelete2. My comments on differences in men's and women's insecurities come from what I've read as they resonated with me or informed me. On page 195 Beth wrote that men give off the don't mess with me vibe and women give off the please mess with me vibe!
On page 188, men withdraw, women cling.
This next one struck me (p 188); girls become women when they reach a certain age. Boys become men when they attain and conquer.
Again, from page 188 regarding provision, one feels frightened by it, but the other feels defined by it.
3. Omnipotence resonated with me. My kids and certain school teaching situations have been used powerfully in my life to teach me about my tendency to omnipotence.
I am thankful for the caution regarding omniscience on page 225; "I cannot caution you strongly enough to tread carefully in the turbulent deep water of another's mind lest you nearly drown."
1. I don't think I see them as either gods or devils now, but growing up they were definitely gods. It took me many years to let go of that perception.
ReplyDelete2. I didn't see a lot of differences in the types of insecurities, but more so in the way they react to those insecurities. As Nicole wrote, men withdraw and women cling. I think the way we react as women makes our insecurities more visible to others than men's.
3. I have a bigger problem with omnipotence. I like to control. And although I am much better than I used to be, I still struggle with this. I need to remember what Beth wrote on page 214 "...people do what they want to do. You can't make them do something else. You can't force them. You can't change them. You can't deliver them." This is hard for me because I can't always see the difference between 'helping' and 'controlling'.